apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
