just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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