I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
