I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
