Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize