So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.