Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
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He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
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I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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