Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie. http://tfl.nu/xp3y
  Replies (36) Good night (7209) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night http://tfl.nu/bxgc
  Replies (13) Good night (6603) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.." http://tfl.nu/gg20
  Replies (17) Good night (3311) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick! http://tfl.nu/dynw
  Replies (56) Good night (1322) Bad night (9196)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!! http://tfl.nu/1wys
  Replies (9) Good night (6295) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (+65): View more from

  No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+65): No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car. http://tfl.nu/46mc
  Replies (20) Good night (4615) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver. http://tfl.nu/zb2m
  Replies (1) Good night (2100) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine. http://tfl.nu/dm6s
  Replies (22) Good night (1162) Bad night (3181)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat http://tfl.nu/rpn1
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (1429)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now. http://tfl.nu/4bjw
  Replies (7) Good night (742) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club.... http://tfl.nu/k1jz
  Replies (2) Good night (1940) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in" http://tfl.nu/49tf
  Replies (7) Good night (795) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!" http://tfl.nu/qrns
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage. http://tfl.nu/jw7v
  Replies (6) Good night (285) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  You gift wrapped a tampon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase. (1-815): You gift wrapped a tampon. http://tfl.nu/h0zj
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (371)

Randomize