Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
