He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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