I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.