dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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