Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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