glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
the liver wants what the liver wants
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
