Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
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All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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