I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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