she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
