Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
