nutella sex= disaster
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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