You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
