You just made me feel so damn special
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
