Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
