Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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