i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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