I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
