and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize