found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
