Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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