She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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