I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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