I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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