The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
