the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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