chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
