do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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