Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
