My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
