Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize