Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Boobs are out for the taking
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
