i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha