I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.