I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.