This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
