can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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