even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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