We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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