No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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