I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
