Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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