I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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