I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He shit in the fireplace
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
