I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize