i barfeds in our rink
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
