What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
