she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
