Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
