My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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