I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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