the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
