the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
