ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude i'm inner monologue high
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
