If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
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