You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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