Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
