The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
