The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The air was thick with penises
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think people are normalizing furries
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
