I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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