no, he came in my armpit
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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