sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
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He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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