Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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