My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.