Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting