i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
sex in a hospital.. check
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.