that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
