turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
